always the square peg

On my last day I really ought to be getti9ng mushy and sentimaental on you al, but don't worry I havn't changed quite that much. There are loads of people staying here who are all leaving tomorow so it's been quite interesting talking to them, it's going to be so strange coming home and trying to fit in. I feel like I must have changed so much. There are two approaches on can take:either I can go back to being all that I ws before in which case it kind of defeats the object of all I've been through, or I can try to fit the new me into the old me's space. the second option is clearly the most sensible but the hardest. In a way it's almost like I'm going to have to make friends with everyone all over again (hi Matt remember me? I'm your sister, honest) and hope they still like me (and that I still like them). Home's going to be totally different but at the same time it'll feel like nothing has really changed and so a little anti-climactic. I guess time will tell-and not an awful lot of it now. I thought I'd have filled my journal by now, you've all seen how small I can write when I need to but it's kind of backfired. It's worked to my advantage-otherwise I'd be carrying six books by now, but it seems rather counter productive that I now have a ton of pages which will most likely remain blank. or worse, they'll be filled with my attempts at last minute philosopising on the flight and whilst I'm stuck in Doha for 5 hours. Oh well. Best get the ballons and cake ready. It's all about me.